suchasourwolf | (no subject)

"You wouldn't...!" Even though he knows Derek definitely would and really it's not like he can hide too much when Stiles is nearly always smelling like Derek anyways -- well, what the other werewolves can tell, anyway. God knows what his dad would think if he ever found out.

The little nips make him shiver though, his neck a sensitive spot.

While Derek would love to announce to people that he and Stiles are together, it's just not practical. And he knows that, and respects Stiles' need for privacy. But that doesn't mean it's not tempting as hell.

"Maybe." With one last nip to his ear, Derek slides down to kiss at Stiles' hips, instead.

"What about down here? Or is it too close to your bruised ribs."

Honestly, Stiles would shout it from the rooftops if he could but he was also not yet eighteen and the last thing he wants is get Derek in trouble with the law, even if his father isnt part of it anymore. The thought saddens him but it's pushed away by the feel of Derek's mouth against his hip.

"No, no there's okay," he says and if he sounds a little breathless -- well, can you blame him?

"Are you sure? Don't want to hurt you." It's said teasingly, but he means it; hurting Stiles is the last thing he'd ever want to do.

Now and then he wonders if he should have waited for Stiles to be legal, if there's something wrong with him for sleeping with a sixteen year old. If that makes him a predator, like Kate was.

Sobering slightly, he pauses and kisses Stiles' chest, above his heart. "Is this okay? I mean -- all of this. Are you still okay with this."

"You won't, you could never hurt me." And he knows Derek won't, he trusts the man that much to know that and believe it.

His brows raise when Derek kisses his chest instead and frowns at the question. "Of course I am," says Stiles, lifting his hand to card through the man's hair. "I've never been more sure." The teen then sighes and smiles a little.

"I get it, you know. I'm young and have my 'whole life ahead of me', but you know, not many people have gone through what we have and it puts things into perspective," he says honestly. "And I know what I want and who I want and he's right here in front of me."

Derek leans into the petting, letting the touch sooth him a little. "I know. It's just that -- "

He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, not quite meeting Stiles' eyes. "When I was your age, maybe a little younger, I thought I was in love with someone. And she hurt me. She used me to get to my family, so she could hurt them, too.

I know I'd never hurt you like that, but right now? My life is a mess. I mean, a huge fucking mess. And I don't want you getting hurt by my mistakes."

Stiles listens and thinks the words over, hand slowly coming to a stop as the pieces fit together, his eyes widening as he looks down at Derek.

"You're talking about Kate..." It wasn't so much a question than a statement of truth. And he wasn't going to lie, it made him a little sick to know he'd been with Kate -- but he also knew, or guessed rather, that Derek had no idea what she was capable of, what she would do and was willing to do to get what she wanted.

"I think... all our lives are kind of a mess right now."

"I'm talking about Kate." His jaw clenches slightly, and he pushes against Stiles' hand to get him to keep scratching. Anything to help keep him calm.

"I dragged you into this really fast. I didn't mean to. It was a tense night, and I was frustrated, and I let my attraction to you get the best of me. I should have taken my time. Courted you."

After a moment he continues with the scratching, slow and even against the man's scalp as he listens to him speak.

"You can still court me. I want to be your mate eventually, so there's got to be some sort of mating werewolf courtship, right?"

"Not too different from human courtship. More dead animals." Derek rests his head against Stiles' chest to listen to his heartbeat, his eyes slipping shut.

"When you're old enough, I'll ask your dad for permission. State my intentions. I think there are some old laws about bartering for your hand, but that might only be with other packs."

"Uhh, not sure about the dead animal part, honestly. Might have to skip that one." Stiles smiles a little and loweres his head to press is lips into Derek's hair, sighing softly.

"Oh I'm sure my dad will be thrilled about that, but... I think he'd be pleased about it the whole asking r my hand and stuff. He seems like a traditional guy. Might wanna prepare yourself for many a family dinner and an open view of his shotgun."

"I'll keep them in the yard," he promises, and tilts his head up for a soft kiss.

"I'll be on my best behaviour." A pause, and he amends, "Better than best. You might have to remind me how humans sit down for a formal dinner. I'm a little rusty."

Stiles eyes lit up in amusement as he smiled into the kiss. "Are you teasing me? Are you joking? My my, you are full of surprises aren't you."

The teen pats Derek on the head gently, in a playful manner. "I'll break out my 'how to train your werewolf' manual just for you."

"I have a sense of humour," he insists with a somewhat sour expression. His humour is just usually buried under layers of guilt and anger.

He nips at Stiles' fingers, "I know how to use silverware. What else do I need to know?"

Stiles grins at the playful banter and can't help but go along with it. "I might need to teach you how to drink from a glass. I think we tossed out all our old sippy cups."

Derek gives a sarcastic haha and sits up to pull his shirt back on. "You only have two years to train me, we shouldn't waist any time."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that, soon as I get home." Though the thought of home reminds him why he's here in the first place and makes him frown. He doesn't know how he's going to fix this, not when his dad probably blames him for getting him fired and really, Stiles blames himself too.

... oh. And now Stiles is sad again and Derek wonders if it was something he said. He pulls Stiles back to sit between his legs, arms around the teen's waist, Stiles' back against Derek's chest, and he nuzzles his neck tenderly.

"Stay as long as you need."

"Sorry, was just thinking about my dad..." Sometimes he forgets that Derek -- and werewolves in general -- can sense emotions and feelings, which he never really let himself thinking about before and awkwaaaaard with all the times he's thought Derek was hot in actual proximity to the man.

It's a wonder Derek's never called him out on it or used it against him to shut him up.

"Tell me how to help, if I can?"

Their family situations are so different, that Derek tends to forget that right now, they're in the exact same position; they both blame themselves for the pain their families are going through.

Softly, nosing at Stiles' temple, he says, "It's not your fault."

"I don't know how you can... unless you can magically get my dad his job back?" Stiles says, then laughs a little, the sound quiet and bitter as he leans back into Derek, head resting against his shoulder.

"But it is... that's the thing. It IS my fault. I'm always where I shouldn't be, I stole a police van and kidnapped Jackson, who put a restraining order against me and Scott. How is him getting fired not my fault?"

... okay that was a good point, and Derek wasn't sure how to refute it.

"You did it to protect your friends, and to protect Jackson. It was for the right reasons, you just -- can't tell your dad that. Which I know is hard, but it's safer for him not to know. Even if it cost him his job.

It might be better for him, anyway. The closer the investigation gets to the Kanima, the more dangerous it is for him."

"I know, but I hate lying to him. I've never lied to him like this. Sure, little white lies like the time I broke the vase that usually sat on the dining room table or the time I accidentally broke the ice maker in the freezer -- but those were just... things. I've never lied to him this much before." And it kills him, because he knows his dad knows he's up to something and he knows he's disappointing him by not telling him.

"I'm like, the worst son in the world right now."

"Believe me when I say you could never, ever be the worst son." He pulls Stiles closer, nose against his mate's neck as he struggles to find a way to comfort him. To make everything better.

Derek is pretty sure he takes that title, anyway. He was the one who got their family killed, the one to blame for Peter being twisted so completely. But he doesn't want to play the one-upping game with Stiles.

"Maybe not, but it sure feels like it sometimes." Stiles says, sighing and leaning into Derek's comforting warmth, enjoying the gentle nosing.

"Can I ask you something?" asks Stiles, but plows on before Derek can give him a yes or no. "Do you ever... think about having kids? Or.. cubs or whatever term you use?"